I really thought my last column would be the last column on the silliness of the Colorado Republican party and the candidates they continue to foist upon us.

But just like believing I could write a whole column with no sarcasm, it’s simply foolish to think that in the world of politics. Frankly, I liked politics better when it was all about sleeping around and not the destruction of lives and livelihoods and sacrificing freedom for the sake of power.

Then again, in that sense, Donald Trump is a throwback to the good old days. Normally, this would mean Democrats would put Trump in a place of honor and Republicans would do just what they’re doing with him. I mean, personal Trump is the perfect, philandering, Democrat — except for his actual policies. And for Republicans, Trump’s great in terms of getting folks elected who the party can then use his personal behavior to cast him aside once proper power is restored for the establishment.

Anyway, this brings us to Colorado Republicans. Because there’s no sense in writing about Colorado Democrats as they always act like Democrats,  just more in our faces than ever.

How about them Colorado Republicans? You know, the ones endorsing a primary candidate for the 3rd Congressional District after their last endorsed Trump-lusting candidate abandoned us for greener pastures in the 4th Congressional District. Then again, you all know what gets left in pastures after the cud chewers are done eating up all the votes, er, grass? As you can see, the 4th Congressional District is filling up fast with who’s the “mostest-Trumpest” excrement. How long before the 4th becomes a lean Democrat district? After all, it only took two terms out here.

Which brings us to the lost souls in the 3rd Congressional District and the clown car of candidates taking our minds off just how bad a show the circus of national and state Republican politics has become. But like any good clown car, there’s always room for more. So we have what, a half dozen folks running for the right to lose to Adam Frisch and his storage facility of pleasure? Told you Democrats like their dirty stuff. And the Republicans did something they’ve never done — because it’s a non-negotiable policy of Republican righteousness — and endorsed a primary candidate. I guess my “unaffiliating” with the party really stirred some things up?

After all, it was screamed into me by the local party chairwoman the party doesn’t tell anyone they can’t run or what they can say.
Nor does it endorse any candidate in the primaries. So, it must be an unbreakable policy of the party, right? Until it’s not and we’re in the “in case of fire” mode. Which means only one thing. Republicans think the 3rd district is lost. How could they not after what they’ve allowed it to become over the past four years?

Which brings us closer to home, where the Republican party appears to vet candidates like a certain candidate does her dates — not at all. And from there we get my favorite interloper, JJ Fletcher, who has no one to blame but himself. You know, the person he’ll continuously tell you he’s not running for? And I write this not because I think I’m someone special deserving of special treatment, but because I think you all are. Yes, that’s sarcasm.

You see, JJ likes to post things on Facebook, usually in sentences that contain the words I and me. On one such post, JJ bragged about how he was a “different kind of politician and running for you” (which is different how?) who will also take pains to talk to people and get the facts before making decisions. So your intrepid, curious, citizen columnist asked him the obvious question: Can you give us any examples from any of the current county commissioners where they didn’t do things the JJ way? No answer. But that’s what happens when someone runs on “me” talking points — although it worked for Obama and I’m still processing how.

But that didn’t stop ol’ “I got my own road sign” Fletcher from stepping in the political pasture caca on another post. JJ’s road sign “me” moment (who brags about their own road sign?) had him boasting about how he collaborates to put the best ideas and policies forward to the benefit of all. So naturally, I asked him for an example. This time JJ had the cajónes to seemingly take credit for keeping the Mind Springs facility open in Grand Junction, which in actuality turned out be sending out an email with “solutions” and making some “last-minute” phone calls. As if no one else in the county was working on the Mind Springs problem before JJ came on the scene. When asked for specifics, JJ went into the establishment, Mesa County good ol’ boy way of life posture and blocked me and deleted our back and forth, although he did offer to answer questions via email or over coffee before doing so. But as I tried to tell JJ, answering questions to your own words doesn’t deserve special treatment, nor do I.

It also doesn’t make you unique as a politician, JJ. It makes you another clown in the car of establishment power. And while that’s sarcasm, it’s also the truth.

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of the Business Times. Reach him at (970) 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com.