And let me tell you, between Mesa County and the City of Grand Junction, we live in a cross between the reality show level content of “Girls Gone Wild” and “When Animals Attack.” Although in River City, it seems some folks just watch the trailer, not the actual shows.

I’ve always had a curious fascination — others would use different adjectives — with the insanity of how government works. I’ve explored it right here in column after column. And there’s a plethora of material provided by just our local government entities to keep a columnist, or even reporter, inundated with things to write about.

I usually do this from a position slightly removed from live government proceedings. I read reports and stories others have written and check meetings notes and transcripts — mainly because I’ve learned in 23 years of publishing the Business Times that unless it’s written in these pages, I’d better check to get the full story and facts and talk to the people involved to get their takes. I mean, isn’t that how we all form opinions? Through research and developing an understanding of the full situation and not just swallowing hook, line and sinker some “story” one can read in the time it takes to exercise a bowel movement or peruse on a phone going 50 in a 35 while putting on makeup and gorging on a Big Mac and fries?

But this time, I decided to venture into the belly of the beast known as local government and attend a live episode of the never-ending series I’m attempting to trademark. For those of you calling me out for not going to these kinds of spectacles before, note that I’m a publisher, not a reporter. That means I employ an editor/reporter (by far, the best one in town), pay the bills, clean the office (well, pay someone to clean the office), pick up the newspaper in Rifle, sticker the mailouts, deliver the paper and do literally everything else (office supplies, toilet paper, rent, etc.) a business owner would do. Publisher is just a fancy name. Full disclosure, I also sell ads.

I don’t need to go to public hearings to do my real job. Or my fun job of writing about my opinions — some would argue my Fantasyland job. And since I mentioned Fantasyland, I went to this meeting in person because it felt like the reporting on the Mesa County Health Department was coming from the AP wire desk of Fantasyland. So I decided to “eavesdrop” on the Mesa County Board of Health meeting to get the real “scoop.” Well, I didn’t eavesdrop. I sat in the meeting because this meeting was open to the public and eavesdropping is bad. Boy this Jimmy Olsen reporter stuff is fun. Anyone can do it and do it pretty darned well. Well, apparently not anyone.

Now that you know I didn’t potentially break the law, let me tell you about a few amazing discoveries from the meeting.

But first note this column appears in the opinion section of the Business Times. This isn’t a news story. It’s important when running a newspaper to keep opinions, content and advertising separate and never cross the streams. Think “Ghostbusters.” Then again, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is alive and well in local media.
But also remember that my opinion, in my opinion, is probably dead on.

What did I learn? First, you’d be shocked to discover everything that occurs in daily life falls under public health according to the mission statement of Mesa County Public Health. Hate to break it to those many fine folks who do a great job in their proper, limited roles: Not everything is. In fact, most things aren’t. Making statements like this is what gave out-of-control public health officials the unconstitutional hubris to shut down “nonessential” businesses  — there’s enough hubris in declaring anything or, worse, anyone nonessential — mandate shots and masks to go work or participate in society and force never-ending “health emergencies” giving unlimited power to naked emperors in untouchable fiefdoms. It’s never good for the common man.

Next, I learned once you give a government entity money, it can spend it any way it decides how to — even though the money comes with specific details on how it must be spent. It’s true. Government entities don’t even have to track accurately where the money goes. I mean, if everything is public health, why can’t every dollar spent fall under the new accounting category of “it’s public health and therefore legit?”
It really cuts down on accounting and audit expenses. Sarcasm off.

Lastly, I learned about so many things not being reported. The meeting confirmed what I already knew: There’s a lot not being reported in the mainstream. People should read the audit report and the independent review of the audit presented at this meeting. It’s not good.

As for the upcoming city portion of this topic, here’s a hint: If Scooter Libby was bad, just how bad could liberal scooters across the fruited valley be?

See you next time on “Government Gone Wild.”

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of the Business Times. Reach him at 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com.