Just in case you never thought you’d be more frightened than reading the nine words Ronald Reagan made famous — “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help” — have no fear. Government continues to make things worse. Who needs Jesus when government can save you? So, let’s look at one way our lords and saviors are gonna make 2023 worse. 

As of Jan. 1, we’re being rescued from the plastic abyss with new regulations banning plastic bags in our stores. Well, not banning them and not all stores. Only big stores and chain stores — where we can still buy them if we want. And not small stores, so not all stores. But yes, we’ll finally be rid of plastic bags once and for all. Except we won’t.

Try to follow. If you wanted to save the planet by eliminating plastic bags, then make providing them criminal. And before you think that’s a ridiculous point of view, stop and think about just how many folks you know who’d be fine with that. Look how it worked for drugs.

And don’t tell me it’s about plastics, either. Nearly everything in the store you shop at is wrapped in plastic, displayed in plastic or has some form of plastic involved in getting that item from production to the store to your home. Sam Wainwright was right in that plastics were the future.
He just didn’t see that government would take over the industry. Then again, Sam was doing business with the government when he said it. Hee haw indeed.

Let me ask you this. Do you think Colorado Gov. Jared Polis and the Democrats get this nonsense passed without the blessing of big business? It’s a partnership with big business. And it’s about as simple as a Mafia protection scheme. You see, government doesn’t collect taxes. Businesses do. Businesses take your money under the guise of tax dollars and pay tribute to the government to stay in business, which funds more government schemes like free range eggs to make more money for big businesses. And since the company already confiscates your money and funnels it to government every couple of weeks, each month or every quarter, who better to collect the plastic bag tribute? See? Now you get it.

Don’t feel sorry for your favorite store having larger government burdens placed upon it. The government covered that. It just needed to find the sweet spot your favorite store would like to make off the mandated sale of bags it used to give away or pay for in the cost of goods sold. For the sake of these bags, it’s 4 of every 10 cents they charge you. It’s just another sin tax, but this time the stores get some of the juice as well.

Think about everything government has banned. First off, government can only ban what it’s already approved. But if all the stuff government approves is eventually bad for us, why is government approving it at all? I’ll tell you why. Money. When it comes to big business, no one is bigger than the government. It’s trillions ahead nationally and billions ahead at the state level. And to make things worse for us, government has the power to make you a consumer no matter what with armies and bureaucracies to enforce its will. Try to think of any business you know not operating under some set of government rules, mandates or control. You can’t. We’re all business partners with government in some way.

But not all of us are strategic partners. That’s reserved for businesses with big bank rolls. When government comes up with life-saving schemes, what does it do? First off, it makes them planet saving, so they’re way bigger than your little slice of heaven. Then, it brings in the experts — big business. Why? Because big business and government have already written the laws to put into place.

Who do you think put small businesses out of business during the Great Depression? Big business and government because together they can eliminate the competition like no one else.

While banning plastic bags might seem like child’s play in comparison to the COVID or global warming schemes, it’s the same principle.

C. S. Lewis put it best: “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. They may be more likely to go to heaven, yet at the same time likelier to make a hell of earth. This very kindness stings with intolerable insult. To be ‘cured’ against one’s will and cured of states which we may not regard as disease is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles and domestic animals.”

You can deal with robber barons. You can deal with government. But as partners, tyranny can be the only result. The plastic bag ban is merely less harsh.

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of the Business Times. Reach him at 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com.