The first five to 10 words out of your mouth have significance.

I’ve been asked to consult and teach “communications” on several occasions to a variety of customers and businesses. It’s ironic people claim “communicating”  — what they need to say — is a key issue. I’ve come to realize listening is the problem.

By one estimate, most people remember only 20 percent of what they hear. Therefore, the first five to 10 words out of your mouth must have significance. Those first five to 10 words need to bear the brunt of meaning.

After that, the best probable consequence is whatever the listener is most inclined to hear at the time. The Latin phrase for this phenomenon is quidquid recipitur ad modum recipientis recipitur. Translated: Whatever is received is received according to the manner of the receiver.

Since you can’t possibly know the manner of the receiver, those first five to 10 words are critical in capturing the listener’s attention.

If you want to ratchet that potential up, you next need to understand and motivate the manner of the receiver.

Most people will remember 70 percent of what they both see and hear. This is the next critical element in communication — what they see.

Stephen R. Covey — the author, businessman and speaker — said the most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques rather than our inner core, others will sense the duplicity. We won’t create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.

If you build the right relationship with people — along with having the right five to 10 words at the beginning of your conversations — the chances of those communications being at least 70 percent effective increases.

One of the single best quotes concerning leadership came not from a leadership guru, but the poet Maya Angelou. She said this: “At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

So, yeah, those first five to 10 words are critical. But of even greater importance is the relationship that develops between speakers and listeners. Spend more time improving that relationship.