Judgmentalism: a behavior or attitude that reflects a critical and condemnatory (expressing strong disapproval; censorious) point of view. 

We generally prefer to see ourselves as forgiving, generous, kind, patient and smart people. The truth is we aren’t. 

Life isn’t ideal. We aren’t perfect. We can’t be nice all the time. If we’re honest with ourselves, we have some pretty scary and embarrassing flaws we prefer to avoid.

Why is the topic of judgmentalism important? I found through experience judgmentalism affected the ways I attracted or put off people, including the ways I conducted myself in the workplace. Judgmentalism even affected the manner in which I moved through society and interacted with others.

Judgmentalism also affects listening skills, in turn affecting the manner in which I interact with others as a coworker, friend, husband, parent and human being. Here’s a look how: 

Reduced empathy: 

When we’re judgmental, we evaluate and criticize speakers rather than understand their perspectives. This reduces our ability to empathize and connect with them on a deeper level. 

Selective listening: 

Judgmental attitudes lead to selective listening, where we only hear what confirms our preconceptions and ignore or dismiss information that contradicts them. This can result in a lack of understanding.

Defensive responses: 

Being judgmental can make the speaker feel defensive, which hinders open and honest communication. When people sense they’re being judged, they’re less likely to share their true thoughts and feelings.

Impaired problem solving: 

Effective listening is crucial in solving problems and resolving conflicts. Judgmentalism clouds our ability to objectively analyze situations and come up with constructive solutions. We’re more focused on assigning blame.

Decreased trust: 

Over time, judgmental behavior erodes trust in relationships. People are less likely to confide in someone they believe will judge them harshly, leading to a breakdown in communication and connection. 

To improve listening skills, it’s important to cultivate a non-judgmental attitude, practice active listening and strive to understand the speaker’s perspective without forming opinions. 

When we nitpick and find fault with an individual, group, idea or situation, we lose our ability to really listen and understand.

When we judge others who are different from us, we view their behaviors, lifestyles and values as somehow inferior or wrong. We miss the opportunity to connect with them on the levels required for greater understanding.

When we make harmful or negative judgments, we’re being judgmental in ways that are best to avoid. Bringing a non-judgmental approach offers a new listening skill.