For years it seemed the catch phrase organizations used most often to describe their culture was “we’re like a family.” But if we look deeper to identify the true goal of culture, I’d challenge that thinking.

If I say “we’re like a family” what comes to your mind? 

Organizations use this to describe staffs that enjoy spending time together and care for and support each other.

But many people think of the siblings who picked on them growing up, the parents they could never please or were absent. Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t the only family dynamics we see. But many families experience underlying issues they don’t want others to know about. 

So if organizations say “we’re like a family,” do they mean they bully you and expect you to exceed expectations, but will never be proud of your accomplishments? 

Bosses tell you they have an open door policy, but are they more like absent parents who aren’t there to support you? Is this what your organization is really like? 

What if we change the conversation? What if we describe an organization’s culture as “we’re a community.” 

We’re a community means so much more. For starters, a community includes people from diverse backgrounds with different abilities, knowledge and skills. In a community, you can seek guidance from experts in things different from your own expertise. You can expand your understanding of those with whom you work. A community allows us to be ourselves. 

Moreover, a community is inclusive. To become a part of a community, you have a bit of buy in — not because you must, but because you chose the community in which you want to participate. 

In describing culture as a community, we focus on respect. As a human resource manager in a health care setting, I respect those around me for the skills they have that I don’t possess. I know the physicians and dentists as well as the medical assistants and dental assistants I support have different outlooks on their tasks. In acknowledging these differences, I better understand what they need from me, leadership and each other. 

Employees might not appear diverse in terms of their physical attributes. But they are diverse and unique in their experiences. This is what builds a community — acceptance of those around us for what we as coworkers, teammates and simply people bring to the organization. 

If we focus more on how we can support each other as a community, we’ll find caretakers. We’ll find the tech-savvy person who doesn’t work in information technology, but helps you when you computer does that funny thing it does. We’ll find the people who keep candy in their desk drawers or listen to you after you’ve endured a hard meeting with an uncooperative customer or client.

Employees will learn to rely on each other for the things we bring with us, for who we are. Not because we’re a family, but because we’ve built a strong community. 

I challenge organizations to stop saying “we’re a family here” and start saying “we’re a community.” 

We celebrate our differences. We do our best not to judge, but to accept. We value what each person brings to the organization. We support the growth of each other by providing our expertise to help. We change and we grow. We adapt to the environment in which we operate. 

And we rely on each other for the success we all want to achieve.