I guess I could have said “do-gooders” to steal a term from Mona Charon on a great book I read a few years back. After all, every last one of them is running on two things: How they are gonna “fight” for all the “good” they are gonna “do” (with historical evidence government rarely does any good for anyone) in direct contrast to all the “bad” the other guy is gonna “do” (with historical evidence this is what government is best at, except for confiscating and wasting tax dollars) to you.

The big problem for the citizens is that both sides are correct.

And if you read Mona’s book, you’d fully understand all the “do-gooders” who get elected turn out to pretty much be all “no-gooders” in the end. And yes, it’s your guy, too.

Do I really need to waste the ink with a list on this column? As I said, it’s your guy, too. It’s all of them. The only cycle that begins before raising money to get re-elected in two years is how fast politicians can start money laundering to constituents to buy votes for the upcoming election cycle.

How else can you explain all the promises to cut spending by eliminating waste, fraud and abuse of government spending – while being more efficient with our tax dollars – and then spending more after every election.

And here I thought Elon found hundreds of billions in cuts? Yet spending? It’s up. So goes the giant hamster wheel known as the Federal Government of the United States of America. And on my version of the hamster wheel, as it spins back to a place it’s been before, is a favorite from P.J. O’Rourke:

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it.”

The only thing more upsetting to me is we’re at the rotation part where we elect democrats again. As I’ve said (probably paraphrased someone more famous and articulate than me) about our political system: “Republicans are the worst politicians we have, except for democrats.” Two notes: I only capitalized republicans because it began the quote, and while I think little of the crop of republicans we have today, I think less of the democrats the nation is about to elect and re-elect.

My reasoning is simple to apply to the spinning that makes up politics today. Democrats (yes, again on the capitalization thing) get elected and really mess things up, then republicans get elected promising to clean up the mess democrats made, but really they just change it around to run the mess the “republican way” (as lust for control runs strong on both sides of that dingy carpet in the aisle), which then leads us to democrats getting elected to screw things up again, because the republicans are running a government that is out of control due to how bad democrats screwed things up when they were in power. Of course, that was appropriately a run-on sentence.

That last part is where this election cycle falls. Except in Colorado. That’s all on the democrats as they’ve been in charge for way too long, and I see no possible way we elect any republican majority in the foreseeable future with the current folks running the republican party. And you don’t have to look all the way to Denver to know what I mean. Just mosey on over to 602 Bookcliff Ave. and check out the goings on. You’ll know.

Oh, I almost forgot about something else that will occur before this column is ink on newsprint. I officially become a grumpy old man. That’s right, I will be, by order of the federal government, a recipient of one of the most famous, wasteful, poorly run, “do-gooder” programs in history, known as Medicare. You know, the program I paid into for nearly 50 years to receive free benefits that I am now paying for while losing my doctor, so my new medical providers can overbill my “insurance provider” (also known as the federal government) to receive a pittance back on the dollar charged causing all medical costs to skyrocket since its inception. Of course, another run-on.

If you thought I was grumpy before, just reread that take on how government does good. And then be thankful I’m not on Social Security yet.

Ah, but as a member of this older generation, I have even less to lose. Maybe it is time to start listing names. But then again, when the feds are in full control of where the money and insurance come from, it’s not an easy task for a columnist to let those same feds know about their worthlessness and wastefulness and wonton destruction of our nation.

Yeah, it’s a generalization. But most generalizations, like humor, have lots of elements of truth in them. And for good reasons. So as a grumpy guy, I’ll just have to say it.

And just in case any of you who wish me not-so-well (and I get it from both sides; remember, the death threats for me and my daughters this past year came from the RIGHT) are thinking along the lines of me retiring, sorry to disappoint. I’m developing my next five-year plan to be instituted by that famous date the world was blessed with my presence and the reason my Medicare kicked in on November 1st. Yes, my birthday, November 26.

So yes, I’ll be fully watching the ol’ hamster wheel of politics spin for the foreseeable future.

Speaking of names, I’ll leave you with this ditty destined for the Hamster Wheel Hall of Fame: Why is Tina Peters still a thing? On both sides? Maybe it’s because your favorite columnist (sarcasm) predicted she’d be doing exactly what she’s doing if she was allowed back in with the other hamsters. She jumped right back on the wheel. Almost like both sides needed her. Hint: They do.

“Do-gooders” like Tina (for clarity, she’s done no good) are used to keep the “no-gooder” rodents in power. In evolutionary terms, it’s a small step from rodent to vermin. And for too many elected and in the bureaucracy, they’ve already overstepped. Yet, we just keep spinning the wheel of misfortune. It’s like we have no choice. And just like Medicare, we really don’t, except for the ones they offer us.

Maybe it’s more like rats on a sinking ship than hamsters on a wheel. Either way, it’s a “no-gooder.”

In Truth and freedom.

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of The Business Times. Reach him at 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com