For our federal government, that is.

Historically, it refers to the calls of “cart drivers” who roamed villages collecting corpses during plagues during the darker ages of civilizations that have come and gone before us.

In the United States today, it means one of the houses of Congress really needs your vote. Then again, laws passed in Congress have literally become a plague on the supposed “free peoples” of our once great nation. No wonder MAGA struck a chord with so many. The desire to not be stiff and stacked in a cart is a powerful motivator against tyranny.

Then again, our presidents don’t exactly do a great job of Making America Great Again. As a matter of fact, the previous one was a good candidate for cart stacking himself, and the current one is so Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde we don’t know what we’re gonna get.

So what spurred this column you may ask? Look through the Rear Window to the squeaky wheels propping up Mitch McConnell and the need for staffers to tell him, “No, Mitch, we’re voting yes on this latest money-laundering fed scheme known as the ‘Farm Bill.’ Now, make sure as you suck for oxygen in the transport van, you turn your head and wave so people don’t think the catatonic state we’ve drugged you up out of is real. And … action.”

After all, you can’t run a quality, high-level, congressional, costly, money-laundering scheme without a legal vote, according to congressional rules. But more important, we need to show Mitch doing something “congressional” for folks to be mind-melded into thinking Congress and (this time) republicans are doing something.

But what they don’t realize is that most folks already know Congress does brain-dead stuff every day; they just vote for the party that votes to do the brain-dead stuff they want. Which leads to the even bigger problem of just how much the lifeless, grey-matter decisions are gonna cost us.

And let me tell you, it’s a ton more than a few bombs dropped on Iran.

I know folks have glommed onto the “cost” of the war in Iran. But that’s simply because it’s an emotional, political talking point, and there’s an election coming up. But honestly, how much is several billion dollars over a few months (remember, it was nothing to give billions to Ukraine for democrats, or republicans in picking any one of several Middle East wars) in the grand scheme of things for an entity that spends over $7 TRILLION every year.

Seriously, in comparison, how much has subsidizing Iowa corn cost us over the decades? And yet the republicans had to wheel out the ghost of his China-loving past for an episode of “Weekend at Mitch’s” to keep the gravy train flowing. I wonder how much “gravy” has been slathered, costing trillions over the centuries since Congress yelled “all aboard” that train? I suppose I could have used Christmas tree ornaments with bells as a reference as well here, right Clarence?

But they do it every year, and for the past several with “continuing resolutions,” which are just simply words to cover up the fact Congress operates without a budget – and in any way it damned well pleases – while blaming the other guy for overspending. Or not taxing enough (or too much, depending on party) or telling us who to blame. Or worse, which citizens to be jealous of, so they can create laws to harm them or take their money. Or the worst, make criminals out of them. Because that’s mainly what laws do: make criminals out of people, unless you are a person affiliated with government.

That’s why they wheel out Mitch McConnell. Or Diane Feinstein. Or Joe Biden. To create public displays for all to see while tying a rope to their arms to make it look like they’re waving like Bernie in the Hamptons, and everything is just another fabulous day in the lifestyles of the rich and famous. It’s a wonderful club, and you have no part in it except in funding it.

The sad truth? The only rich and famous lifestyle they care about is their own. Sure, occasionally Oliver gets a second bowl of gruel, but only if our taskmasters permit it or one gives Pauley his cut to play in the schemes, where the real “trickle-down economics” exists. And to do that in America, one must participate in the new November, Día de los Muertos holiday, known as Election Day and vote for another favorite corpse who promises to bring back the spoils for the select few.

After all, if the winners weren’t brain-dead before being elected, they come back chanting “Imhotep” after the feast of monkey brains from their first term. I know, just how many bad (not all dead) Hollywood references can one columnist make in 1,200 words? Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be another.

But here’s the real problem at the core of all of this. We keep electing these folks. Just how many terms in office does Nancy Pelosi get to keep winning to continue the literal pickling of her brain? And even when Nancy’s ghost sobers up and gets us “out,” who are we electing next “to pull us back in?” How long before Chuck Grassley, in office since 1981 (or is it 1891?), mumble-stumps himself into a boat full of kindling being set into the water for burning-arrow practice for the Vikings before someone else takes his spot in this Game of Thrones.

It’s gonna happen. And all because of the lust for power, money and control, which our elected betters are full of, and it controls everything they do. And that lust oozes onto their staff along with pretty much everyone elected now at the state level and all too many local folks like the Blob at a bowling alley. But the root of this evil, the virus (remember Covid, anyone?) itself is power.

Remove the power, the money goes away and with it the control over what should be the people’s freedoms and, even better, the politician. Yet, from a quick and dirty glance at who’s running for this November’s Day of the Dead, it won’t happen this election.

Here’s hoping in the next election the I-gors running our political parties won’t go out and get another bunch of Abby Normals to run for office. Sorry, I can’t help it with the movie stuff, I’m on what I think is a roll.

And just in case you think this is only about democrats doing this, think about the fact Lauren Boebert (speaking of theater performances) is running now for a FOURTH term, I’m sure with eyes on bigger prizes as they all are wont to do. And let me know when you find something she’s done for your freedom. Chances are you’ll be late for your own funeral as you do. Always a problem if your lifeless body is on the bottom of the cart.

Just how many more “Night of the Living Dead” votes are we going to have to suffer through before it makes us all Zombies?

I know, several more bad movie references didn’t make this a better column. Personally, I don’t think this is near my best – I just can’t find a way to relate it more professionally, at least not this morning.

I just hope to get a message through: Until we elect folks who don’t want power, nothing changes. The struggle will continue across the board, because they don’t care about real problems for real people. They can’t, because they need the problems. Otherwise, there’s no reason for them to exist.

Much like how I struggled with this topic “From Dusk ‘til Dawn.” (I’m so sorry).

In Truth and freedom.

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of The Business Times. Reach him at 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com