Joe Biden’s body lies a-mouldering in the office?

Craig Hall

Yes, I know it goes, “John Brown’s body lies a-mouldering in the grave …” from the top 10 hit from the 1860s. But for you progressives reading this, it’s a play on words.

I also know someone wrote a neat book back in the day about how Democrats and Bill Clinton treated his old Commerce secretary, Ron Brown, during his tenure and after his death titled “Ron Brown’s Body.” Humor me today because it applies to President Joe Biden. Most important, John Brown, Ron Brown and now Joe Biden all have one thing in common. How the Democrat party looked at them and their usefulness to the cause.

John Brown tried to provoke an  insurrection against slaveowners and the South, so he was bad for the cause. Ron Brown was about to testify against the Clintons and their corruption while in power, so he was bad for the cause. And poor old Joe Biden was going off script while losing the few marbles he had left and had the audacity to outlive the party plan — or not make it to the planned finish, pick your poison — for the cause by going off-script and worse, he lost it in private instead of a public forum where Democrats could use the sympathy card to their advantage. Oh, they’ll still try. So it appears Joe outlived his usefulness.

You might note John Brown died at Harper’s Ferry fighting the Democrats’ cause of the time: slavery. You’d be correct. Yet, the Democrats rode his hanging — after his capture by the hands of soldiers in Robert E. Lee’s command, ironically — to garner more protection for the institution of slavery, slaveholders and of course the handful of states soon to be in rebellion to the Union and also against something brand new at the time: Republicans.

You might inquire what Ron Brown’s sin was. Well, that would be exposing the corruption with the Clintons. And if you ever read the book, Ron Brown had a lot to say — none of it any good. The most telling part, even more telling than asking why someone moved the single, directional beacon to the airport on a cloudy day — modern airports use two beacons for straight lines, safe flight paths, etc., for a reason — was Bill Clinton laughing and yucking it up leaving Ron’s funeral and upon spotting Ron’s family did Oscar-worthy acting to go into tears mode. Maybe Bill was imagining it was Hillary’s funeral? Ron never got the chance to testify. Years later, Republicans found out Hillary was the worse actor in Clinton lore.

Now to Ol’ Sheriff Joe who, according to Barack Obama, should never be underestimated to “F” things up and who’s face should be on milk cartons everywhere, is about to make his dust cloud over the piles of Democrat castoffs in history is indeed, “f-ing” things up for Democrats. You might think Joe is doing his patriotic duty in putting the country above party and politics, but you’d be wrong. Heck, even Richard Nixon got on camera — his sweaty upper lip’s biggest enemy in 1960 and let’s be honest again, he was no looker — and resigned the actual office. So why didn’t Joe go public in his campaign withdrawal? Why did he put out a note on what appears to be personal stationery with a signature that doesn’t match how he signs things on this particular announcement? To their credit, every Republican is asking these questions.

Which begs the most important question: Where is Joe Biden?

I can only see two answers given to how Joe’s been handled the past four-plus years. The first answer is he’s practicing for the most important speech of his life where he not only explains his withdrawal from the coming election but also resigns his office and Democrats want to keep him on script much better than his debate performance. Hate to say it, but he can’t any longer, and hiding him isn’t making things better with independent voters. Yes, I know Democrat voters don’t care as long as their party is forcing their beliefs on the populace. They’ll vote for a cackling hyena if asked, so hiding Joe for another week matters little to the base.

The second answer is certainly more sinister, even for politics. And it’s that Joe is incapacitated and can’t perform his duties, even something as basic as withdrawing from the coming election.  But Democrats, as they tend to do, jumped the gun and put out the announcement anyway, and they’re scrambling over what to do next. Want to know how I know this is probably the right answer? Here’s why. There isn’t one “mainstream” news organization headline asking where Joe Biden is as I type this column. Even on the Drudge Report — which I rarely look at — has all these headlines about Kamala (and the breaking one on the Secret Service head resigning) rising and not one link related to Joe.

For Democrats, the last thing they need is “Joe’s soul marching on.” It will expose them completely. Maybe, and finally, Republicans will use the Battle Hymn version and swing “His terrible swift sword” at the enemy and the nation can sing in refrain, “Glory, glory, hallelujah!”

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of the Business Times. Reach him at (970) 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com.