Neither the searing sun, nor the wind not the heat of West Slope nights …

Craig Hall, Publisher
Craig Hall, Publisher

….will stay these couriers from the swift completion of their delivery of gloom. Bad play on words? Perhaps. But if you get mail, you get what I mean.

And that’s just the Republican junk mail stuffed into my mailbox when I opened it yesterday — after ignoring it for a week or so as is my habit. I do this for two reasons: 1. All my accounts are pretty much on auto pay, so there’s really no need to see every invoice or statement daily. 2. The rest of it — outside of Dad’s Medicare statements — tends to be junk.

Now I have the Republican party to thank for a dramatic increase in junk. Thank goodness I didn’t do as our moronic election laws allow and resign from the Republican party in Colorado and sign up to become a Democrat to vote against some particular candidate on the other side, or my junk would have increased even more. Then again, I could never register as a socialist. But more on that later.

Now, not every mailer is from the Republican party per se. But they are from Republicans. Although I’ve heard stories about Democrats holding signs for some Republican candidates on street corners, I just don’t see Democrats creating these mailers that slam one Republican over another. That’s because I’m sure Democrats are spending money on the same kinds of insulting junk mail sent to their constituents. That doesn’t help me believe the mailers, even though they say things like “important election information” inside. (By the way, has there ever been created a saying that means more the opposite of what is says than that one?) I already know what’s inside and little, if any of it, means anything important to me as a voter or free person.

Forgive me for going back to my every-two-year digression, but I feel it’s a public service. The last thing in the world I expect of anyone who’s elected is to represent me. They can’t. I’m the only one who can do that since I’m the only me. While candidates (yes, even Democrats, albeit rarely) and I might have things we agree upon in term of policy or personally, I can guarantee you we’ll disagree on even more. The reason is simple. Politicians want to fix everything via government. I want government to stop fixing everything, particularly things it broke or made worse — because those things make my life harder and take away my rights. Yes, even the “outsiders” who want to do this.

Let’s go to the tale of the mail.

It seems every candidate in my mail box is running on my, or “our,” “conservative principles.” Okay. How do they know what mine are? No one’s ever asked me. What I find even more ironic is no one actually lists what those “principles” are. But rest assured, they all have them, I’m told.

Some of my mailers are local, some from Denver and some from out of state. They come from the candidates themselves (for which I’ll give credit to those folks for at least putting their names on their own mailers) while others come from what must be incredible groups to be a part of named “Citizens for Cost Effective Government” (an oxymoron if I ever heard one) and “Real Colorado Conservatives” (which is a group I’ve never heard of even though they seem to recognize me as one) along with the several times a year begging from the Republican National Committee who “wants me back” (even though I’ve never actually went there). In other words, being registered as a Republican is simply a way to get on a mailing list for all this garbage that’s talking points and attacks. And to think Democrats would resign their party to vote Republican and receive double the amount of junk. Or maybe this is just the post office trying to reassert its position on delivering more crap than the Internet. Regardless of the reason, these mailers show the flaws of the system and the candidates.

I was once asked by an elected why I “put all politicians in the same boat?” Well besides a bad joke on wishing for a boat sinking, it’s more than obvious. They all tend to be the same. They all try to lure voters by saying they think the same as we do. They all bash their opponents as the epitome of evil whether in their party or not. They all promise to make government work better and more efficiently when it simply can’t. And we see and hear this song and dance year after year. The only difference between the parties is the Socialist/Democratic party promises to do it all for free while this time also taking credit because the Republican-controlled Congress is too afraid to vote as promised.

My experience says this: Going to the clerk and recorder will still be the second scariest government interaction next to the IRS, our elections will still have voter fraud, representatives won’t represent me and most candidates will be in bed with special interests and the press. All things I am against.

Sadly, all one can do is vote for the candidate who will do the least harm. Because more government-made problems are about to be elected.