Why did the chicken wing eater cross the road?

Craig Hall, Publisher
Craig Hall, Publisher

Answer: To oppose something that’s not the root problem.

This might be the hardest column I’ve ever had to write, because I love chicken wings. Well done, crispy chicken wings done perfectly at Buffalo Wild Wings. And our local outlet is exceptional at providing me with the product I desired that all too many have failed at — and that is getting my wings well done and right the first time. They also have a great staff that provides friendly and fast service that my girls and I have enjoyed since they opened their doors.

Unfortunately, they also have a corporate office that came up with this ditty: Buffalo Wild Wings respects the right of individuals to carry firearms. However, because we are focused on the comfort, safety and enjoyment of all of our guests, we have elected to exercise our right to restrict the carrying of firearms within our restaurants. We regret any inconvenience this may cause. but believe that this policy is in the best interest of all of our guests and our team members.

The sad part is that this has been a corporate policy for a long time and none of my “Second Amendment or starve” buddies ever thought to check this out before.

Here we are, fighting back and forth on what I believe is an idiotic corporate policy while our Constitution is violated by idiotic leaders in Washington as they argue over just how to infringe on a God-given, individual right the Constitution prevents them from infringing upon. All the while, they’re bankrupting our country with out-of-control spending that mostly benefits cronies, the non-productive and special interest groups. Let’s not mention the unconstitutional implementation of a health care plan that’s sure to raise costs and increase the death rates among the elderly, terminally ill and those with mental and physical disabilities. And finally, this is the same government that loves killing babies at the rate of more than 1 million a year. But the problem is not in a picture of a front door on Facebook.

But why bother addressing the root cause of our problems when we can call a local Buffalo Wild Wings and scream at the manager who has no input in corporate policy? The fact is, if your latest decision to punish our government is to boycott Buffalo Wild Wings, then you have no clue as to why our founding fathers wrote the Declaration of Independence and Constitution they way they did. Is it your right? Yep. Is it as dumb as the D.C. policymakers and corporate decision makers at the Buffalo Wild Wings corporate office? Absolutely.

I know the management staff very well at our local Buffalo Wild Wings, and I find it hard to believe this is a policy they support. And I doubt that’s based solely on the geographic location of this store. I also know from my many visits the sign posted at other locations is certainly not posted here. And I do not recollect that I’ve ever been forced to go through one iota of our lax airport security to gain entry into the local location (although I believe everyone should have a weapon in public, especially airplanes). I would also hazard a guess that more than one concealed carry has entered the premises. I’m betting that some of the rule breaking was done by the very folks now screaming (or typing) the loudest at this very moment.

The reason we have stupid corporate policy is because we have stupid federal laws. Stupid federal laws are also the reason we have just as stupid state laws. Here’s one. No smoking laws. Are they enforced by the restaurants you are running to in place of Buffalo’s? All you need to do is look for the cigarette-put-out whatchamacallits next to the entrances to know those laws aren’t being enforced. Does the bar you are about to get your beer at check everyone’s breathalyzer before the next serving? Probably not. What about free speech zones on campuses or freedom to worship how you see fit when the government says your church must recognize gay marriage. I’m not seeing many boycotts on those topics.

The fact is that stupid laws and misunderstanding our Constitution is a root cause of dumb corporate policy as well. Yet, we do business with a ton of folks whose corporate policy we find offensive. We just don’t bother to check. That is, until something like this comes up after an actual tragedy or made up government-only solvable problem. Then D.C. gets its bread and circuses.

I’m not foolish enough to believe theaters, schools and public places won’t be shot up because there’s a sign posted.

I know the reason places don’t get shot up is because responsible citizens don’t shoot places up whether they’re Second Amendment zealots like me or not. Corporate policy and the rule of law have little to do with deterring those who would start shooting.

I won’t boycott Buffalo Wild Wings. But it’s my fervent hope many CCW holders will think the same way about Buffalo Wild Wings’ ridiculous, unenforceable corporate policy and attack, oppose and ignore it in the same resolute way they’re going after the spineless gun proposals in Washington.