Ah yes, part deux of Travels with Craigy: The events after the flight back east. And I’ll get to those in a minute, but first let’s talk about why this column is more relaxed than my last. Because my doc said I need to put my feet up.

Yes, who knew vacation could be so much work and pain? Well, I do now.

As my friend Mollie who I ran into today said after I gave her the details of my previous week’s exploits, “Who knew you had to come back to Junction to cool off?” Hence, this posture.

So, what began as cold and overcast in Michigan, through Ohio, into West Virginia, through the panhandle of Virginia, finally warmed in North Carolina for our arrival. You may ask me why I’d fly to Michigan to just make an all-day drive down to North Carolina the next day, and I’ll be happy to tell you. To me, there’s a lot to be said about a road trip with best buddies, and Davey Boy, Chaz and Mules are three of the best I have.

It was quite an entertaining ride, because when we get together, no topic is taboo. As a matter of fact, I think many of the answers are simply said for effect, not in addition to the subject at hand. Oh, the places we go. And that’s just how it should be. I’d dare say the quickest, longest ride we’ve done. The tone for the weekend being set.

So, after a comfortable day of golf on Day 1, things sure heated up. And by heat, I literally mean the temperature for the rest of my stay. Hence, the leg rest my doc says I need – after all, lower-leg swelling is something we in the open-hearts club tend to be very sensitive about. As it turns out, the cure is one of my favorite things to do, relaxing in my recliner with my feet up, this time a touch more elevated.

But back to the weather while skipping past the golf for the most part. Let’s just say the next two days of 90-plus-degree golf in North Carolina were simply an appetizer for the next (swelled) leg(s) of traversing D.C. in 100-degrees-plus. And if you’ve been to Washington, D.C., (this was my first trip) you already know the plus in 100-plus is because all you walk on is either concrete or asphalt.

So, it’s my own as-phalt for the swollen legs, aching feet and blistered toes.

First, let me say it was all worth it. But I’d also have to describe our nation’s capital as extraordinary, impressive, grand, too big, and in some areas somewhat disappointing. Just like most places I visit, except with D.C. those adjectives come at a cost of trillions more than any city I’ve ever visited. Oh, and in this early heat wave, I believed one of the attractions we were bound to come upon would be the gates of hell. In a way, if you know me at all, I think our nation’s capital is at least the gates, if not the actual destination.

So, the impressive: The monuments. My goodness. Especially the one dedicated to my personal-favorite American hero who gave us the greatest four minutes in American history in Gettysburg, the Lincoln Memorial. Seeing Abe Lincoln larger than life is the only way to see him, because he is. Yes, I teared up. And yes, it’s the one memorial I had to get a picture of me in front of. The Washington Monument stands above all, and even though Jefferson was covered in scaffolding, his place earns this honor as well. Same goes for all the war memorials.

I’d say pretty much everything Smithsonian makes the grand scale. We hit three museums: The Museum of Natural History, Museum of American History, and the Air and Space Museum. All excellent. Just wasn’t time for more.

On the too big scale is every darn office building that houses our oversized department of this or that unconstitutional thing our government shouldn’t be involved in. I mean seriously, the Department of Education building is nearly 650,000 square feet, and named after someone who, like all of them, should never have a building named after them. Why can’t public servants just serve and go away? Oh, because that’s not why the elected ones serve. But as I’ve said for years, cornerstones and microphones lead their ego.

Seriously, every department building was a city block except the Capitol building, which is an absolute monolith proving bigger isn’t better. I’d find something designed like the prisons in “Mayor of Kingstown” more fitting (Stop it, you know what I think of most of them). The fact that the massive building can’t even hold 535 people who want to run every aspect of our lives along with their staffs at the size it is (and needs how many more monoliths?) should worry every American. Although, it does kind of hint why D.C. costs us trillions every year.

I almost put the Capitol building into the unimpressive category because of its performance in not doing the business of the people, but the building is impressive, so it’s impressively too big. That’s it.

As for unimpressive, I’d go down the road to the Trump/Kennedy Center and Watergate. The center is just a white, nondescript building rivaling our Avalon add-on, and Watergate is kinda cool, but only because of the botched burglary. It is also big. Ho hum. I’d have to put The White House here as well, as we couldn’t get within a mile of it.

Who knew in the 21st Century we couldn’t have a plan to protect our federal buildings in place, except Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, of course?

As for extraordinary, that’s reserved for the National Archives, where I got to see the second and third most important things ever composed after the Holy Bible – The Declaration of Independence and Constitution of the United States of America – up close and personal. Both were very moving to see and in my opinion should never have been added to. Just so you know, I think putting the first 10 Amendments on parchment was a mistake, as our elected betters and bureaucrats have been working to subvert them since before the ink dried.

But I digress.

My other extraordinary was the most moving time on our tour: Arlington National Cemetery. Words can’t describe the feeling. If the miles of tombstones, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the Guard doing his rotation in front and JFK’s eternal flame doesn’t move you to patriotism for the greatest country God ever blessed, just move out now. Sorry, not sorry.

And now you know why my dogs are barking. All that, dear readers, was the equivalent of about two half marathons over two days.

I will say one more thing that impressed me. The number of student tours, foreigners and kids at every stop we made. It’s a trip every American should make, and I can’t believe it took me 64 years. But I made it, finally. And I’d go back in a heartbeat, as there was so much more to see. I’d also be remiss to mention the hundreds of employees we came across who were pleasant and helpful for anything we needed or questions we had. Those are some good players in our bureaucracy.

One last thing, I needed some entertainment on my Baltimore to Denver to GJ trip home, so I bought a (turns out) cool little book titled “Who is Government?” It’s eight stories about federal employees who did some extraordinary things with their careers. Well, it’s seven good stories and an opinion piece. But I really enjoyed the stories. Ironic, no?

All in all. A good time with the boys. Especially since they were as curious about what we toured as I was. I can see the genius in the design of Washington, D.C. I just wish our founders designed something to keep the nongeniuses out and true, common-sense, good, public servants in.

That’s right, they did. It’s the ones we “choose” who bring in the bad. After all, out of 2 million who work for the feds, the author of my book could only find eight good ones. I’m sure there are more. But they are the real minorities in Washington. Still worth the trip as long as remnants of our founding principles, and folks who aspire to them, exist.

In Truth and freedom.

Craig Hall is owner and publisher of The Business Times. Reach him at 424-5133 or publisher@thebusinesstimes.com